A visit to someone with dementia can be a slightly daunting experience, as we are conscious of wanting to understand / be understood whilst also avoiding causing any distress. Everyone we visit will react differently, but here are some simple suggestions on some steps that can make the visit a fulfilling and productive one for both parties.
First impressions
We all know the old adage that first impressions count. When visiting a person with dementia, how you start the visit and initiate conversation makes a real impact. Consider your demeanour and body language in order to make the person feel comfortable.
Wear something bright or colourful
Approach from the front (don't tap them on the back or shoulder)
Smile and make eye contact, sit at the same level
Be positive, reassuring and patient
Listen and give enough time for for answers and comments

Conversation
It is imperative to adapt your tone, choice of language and sentence length in order to ensure the other person can follow what you are saying. If you need to broach something specific with a person with dementia, you need to strike a balance between allowing the person to express themselves whilst gently steering the conversation back to the matter at hand. Speaking slowly and calmly will pay dividends.
Speak slowly and clearly, use short sentences and make one point at a time
Tell stories in bite-sized pieces and avoid talking for extended periods without interaction from the other person
Avoid ‘should’, ‘must’, ‘don’t’ and ‘no’ – they can make a person feel patronised
Never try and bring the person back to the present, but acknowledge their reality and validate the feelings behind their words
Don’t take it personally if the person becomes angry or upset with you – they may be trying to communicate an unmet need
Things to do together
The setting for your visit is very important, as are planning some activities to encourage the person to reconnect with their environment and memories. There are lots of simple, fun things you can do together that can be both stimulating and relaxing for the person, improving their overall mood. A person's interests and life experiences might give you some pointers on the sort of activity you could suggest.

Find a quiet, comfortable place: try to limit distractions and excess noise from the environment
Go outside: outdoor and nature-based experiences form some of our strongest emotional memories
Reconnect through memories: consider bringing in something meaningful that might unlock these memories – a book, photo, piece of music etc
Never talk about the person in front of them, as though they are not there
Always let the person you are visiting lead the way and involve them in decision-making on what to do
Comments